Tag Archives: QUESTIONANSWERS

IS IT ALRIGHT IF SOMEONE DOES NOT PERFORM CHI KUNG PERFECTLY?

(reproduced from https://shaolin.org/answers/ans18b/oct18-1.html)

Question 6

Is it alright if someone does not perform chi kung perfectly?

— Charlie, United Kingdom

Answer by Grandmaster Wong Kiew Kit

Yes, in our school it is alright if a practitioner does not perform perfectly in his chi kung practice.

In fact, it is recommended not to practice perfectly in order to prevent over-training! That is why we recommend that our students practice at 30% or less of their potential. In other words, they purposely do not perform their chi kung perfectly. If they perform perfectly, which is at their potential, they may over-train.

This paradigm may appear strange to many people. Many people, if they are dedicated to their practice, perform perfectly, or attempt to perform perfectly even if they actually don’t. In our school, students are recommended not to perform perfectly!

Why is this so? We really do not mean to belittle other schools, nor glamorize ourselves, but most other schools do not practice chi kung even when they honestly think they do. They perform their chi kung techniques as gentle physical exercise, not as chi kung or energy exercise. Hence they do not derive chi kung benefits. Even when they perform their chi kung techniques perfectly as gentle physical exercise, they will only get physical benefits, and not any chi kung benefits.

On the other hand, we have become so ridiculously effective that we have to purposely not to perform our chi kung techniques perfectly as chi kung so as not to over-train. Two excellent ways to avoid over-training are to cut down the time of practice or the intensity of practice. As we practice our chi kung for only about 10 minutes, we cut down our intensity by not going deeply into a chi kung state of mind.

It is worthwhile to mention that we may not practice perfectly, but we practice correctly. We use chi kung techniques to practice chi kung. Many other people may practice perfectly but not correctly. They use chi kung techniques to practice gentle physical exercise, just like many people use Taijiquan techniques to practice external Taiji forms.



If you have any questions, please e-mail them to Grandmaster Wong via his Secretary at secretary@shaolin.org stating your name, country and e-mail address.

DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LEARNING AND PRACTICING, INFORMATION AND PERFORMANCE

(reproduced from http://shaolin.org/answers/sp-issues/practicing-performance.html)

Art of Shaolin Kung Fu

One can learn a lot about kungfu by reading good kungfu books

Question

I have recently started to learn kung fu, but I feel sometimes that I am not learning as much as I could. But I have nothing to compare with.

— Edward, UK

Answer by Grandmaster Wong Kiew Kit

Some people may think it is a matter of semantics, but actually the difference in the choice of words here is crucial. I clearly remember that in my early days with Sifu Ho Fatt Nam, my sifu told me, “One does not learn kungfu, he practises kungfu.”

That was good advice from a great master. When you learn kungfu, you add techniques, or worse still you add theoretical information. When you practise kungfu, you go over and over again what you already know, without adding something new.

Most people want to learn kungfu; they would be bored practising kungfu. When you learn kungfu, even if you keep on learning for many years, you remain a learner, or at best a scholar. When you practise kungfu, if you keep on practising for many years, you may become a master.

Another crucial difference is that when you learn kungfu, your emphasis is on information, whereas when you practise kungfu, your emphasis is on performance. When your emphasis is on information, you may know a lot about kungfu, such as various techniques to develop internal force and to defend yourself, but still you have no internal force and cannot defend yourself.

Perhaps for this reason, some people cynically say that “those who cannot, teach; those who can, do.” But this cynical statement does not apply to genuine kungfu, because the emphasis is on performance. A good kungfu exponent is one who is healthy and can efficiently defend himself, not one who knows a lot about kungfu information.

This, of course, does not necessarily mean that information is useless in kungfu. Information is very useful, but it should be geared towards practical results.

There are two sets of criteria you can compare your training with. One, you can compare with what kungfu is reputed to produce, such as good health and combat efficiency. Has your training made you healthy and combat efficient?

Of course, you must be fair. You cannot expect to have good results after just a few months of training. But if you have been practising for a few years, and yet you are still sickly and defenceless, you would have wasted your time even though you might have accumulated a lot of kungfu knowledge.

Two, you can compare with the purposes for which you want to practise kungfu. For example, if your purposes are to learn some graceful kungfu movements to loosen your limbs and joints, as well as to demonstrate to friends, you would have achieved your purposes.

Shaolin Kung Fu

To attain good kungfu performance, one needs to practice correctly and diligently

LINKS

Reproduced from Questions 3 in Selection of Questions and Answers — August 2001 Part 2

You can visit the Facebook Page for Grandmaster Wong Kiew Kit’s books (Cosmos Internet Sdn Bhd).

You can also visit the website for Grandmaster Wong Kiew Kit’s books at Cosmos Internet.

WHY CAN’T KUNGFU PRACTITIONERS USE KUNGFU FOR COMBAT?

(reproduced from http://shaolin.org/answers/sp-issues/kungfu-combat.html)

Kungfu Combat

In Shaolin Wahnam we use kungfu patterns, not kick-boxing, for combat

Question

I have read from your posts in the answers section that genuine Kung Fu is not only learning Kung Fu forms but being able to apply them in combat situations. However, I have found out from personal experience training in Shaolin Kung Fu as well as from your website that the norm today is to revert to bouncing about like kids and using Kickboxing techniques while sparring. Why is this the norm? Is there a reason why it is common place to use Kickboxing techniques while sparring instead of learning how to apply Kung Fu forms?

— Ricky, USA

Answer by Grandmaster Wong Kiew Kit

You have touched on a very urgent point in kungfu training today. Yes, it is a norm today that most kungfu practitioners, including many masters, use Kickboxing or other martial art techniques in sparring or fighting. They do not know how to use kungfu techniques for combat though some of them are formidable fighters using Kickboxing or other techniques.

This is a delicate issue, but it is urgent. If this issue is not resolved, the ability to use kungfu for combat may just disappear from the world! Hence, we in Shaolin Wahnam are very serious in doing our part in preventing this happening, even at the risks of being ridiculed and criticized.

Why are most kungfu practitioners today unable to use their kungfu for combat? It is because they have not been taught to do so. Why haven’t their schools or systems taught them kungfu combat? It is because somewhere in their generation line they have lost their sparring methodology. Hence, the majority of kungfu practitioners today — students as well as masters — either do not spar at all, or if they ever spar they use other martial art techniques.

Why is it that they can use other martial art techniques like Kickboxing or Karate in sparring even when they have not learnt these arts, but they cannot use kungfu techniques in sparring when they can perform kungfu techniques in solo practice? It is because Kickboxing and Karate are closer to instinctive or free-style fighting, whereas kungfu is more elaborated.

In other words, even if you have not learnt any martial art, if you fight instinctively, the way you fight looks like Kickboxing and Karate. And if you have seen how Kickboxers and Karate exponents spar, you can more easily imitate their ways of sparring.

On the other hand, even if you have learnt kungfu forms in solo performance but have not learnt how to use them in sparring, you would have great difficulty using them to spar because these kungfu forms involve elaborated stances and movements. Indeed, if you are not trained in kungfu combat, using these forms in sparring would be a liability instead of an asset. Thus, you would discard them for instinctive fighting, which is bouncing about and punching and kicking wildly. When you fight in this way, your movements resemble more like Kickboxing and Karate than kungfu.

Why was sparring methodology lost in most kungfu lineages? There were many reasons. The burning of the Shaolin Temple in the mid 19th century was a crucial factor. In the past the Shaolin Temple was regarded as the pinnacle of kungfu, and acted as a standard of reference. Without this reference point, kungfu as a fighting art deteriorated rapidly.

One important reason for its deterioration as a fighting art was the emergence of firearms which rendered kungfu a hobby instead of a need for survival as in the past.

Another reason was a change of teaching mode. In the past disciples learned from and served a master. If they did not train diligently they might not have their meals. In the 20th century, rich landlords employed kungfu instructors to teach their children and followers. Rich children were not the type who would train diligently, and if they didn’t train, the instructor might not have his meals. So he taught them kungfu forms instead of insisting on force training and drilling them in combat application. When there were gatherings or celebrations, these children would give demonstrations of beautiful kungfu forms, receiving loud applaud, and the landlord, the instructor, the students and all present would be very happy.

In its early years the present Chinese government discouraged traditional arts, including kungfu and chi kung. During the period of the Cultural Revolution in China, practicing kungfu or any traditional art was a cardinal crime. Later, after a change of national policy, kungfu known in Chinese as wushu was re-introduced — not as a fighting art but as a sport.

The various kungfu styles in the past were classified into seven categories, namely Long Fist, Southern Fist, Taijiquan, Knife Techniques, Sword Techniques, Staff Techniques and Spear Techniques. Henceforth, kungfu or wushu was not practiced as Praying Mantis, Eagle Claw, White Crane, Lohan, Monkey, Hoong Ka, Wing Choon, Choy-Li-Fatt, Black Tiger, Lau Ka, Bagua, Hsing Yi, etc, but as the seven categories. There were no sparring and force training, only forms.

Later, probably embarrassed by their inability to defend themselves, kungfu or wushu practitioners attempted free sparring. But they had no methodology. So they imitated sparring in other martial arts. At first they borrowed (or stole) techniques from Karate, then Taekwondo. Now they borrow from Kickboxing.

Not only it has become a norm that the great majority of kungfu (and wushu) practitioners use Kickboxing and Karate in their sparring and fighting, the situation has become ridiculous and pathetic. Many kungfu students and some masters, including world known ones, even claim that kungfu techniques cannot be used for fighting!

Kungfu Combat

Our students fight the same way as they practice

LINKS

Reproduced from Questions 1 in Selection of Questions and Answers — June 2007 Part 2

SELECTION OF QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS AUGUST 2017 PART 1 BY GRANDMASTER WONG KIEW KIT

(reproduced from http://shaolin.org/answers/ans17b/aug17-1.html)

The Buddha

The Buddha has taught that we can never repay the debt owed to our parents

Question 1

My relationship with my father has always been tense. But since a couple of years, my father has tried to get closer to me, my brothers and sisters and our children. Last week, my boys and I went to my father’s house. We had a tremendous time.

— Nikita, Russia

Answer

It is great to know of your improving relationship with your father. Not only you should make full use of this opportunity, you should also subtly encourage your other brothers and sisters to do so. It is a wonderful blessings you must not miss.

You must do so subtly, certainly not overtly. For example, whenever topics of conversations touch on your father, and he is not physically present, or on anybody’s father, mention that one must be grateful to his parents even when the parents might not have been caring to the children.

The Buddha teaches that even when someone carries his invalid father or mother on his back and takes him or her about everyday for 500 lifetimes, he has not repaid the debt he owes to his parents. What a blessing you have when your father is still healthy. Your relationship with your father should be such that when the time comes for him to leave this phenomenal world, you can with satisfaction say to yourself that you have been kind to your father.

Question 2

On another issue, my daughter is in love with a man who is extremely abusive, emotionally and physically to my daughter. A couple of days ago I had the chance to talk to a very good friend who has the ability of clairvoyance and she told me she could see that my daughter was under a black spell of voodoo. She said she could see black candles and some black strings attached to her.

Her advice was to wake next morning at sunrise and perform some form of ceremcny with a sword to cut off those strings, which I did. Can you please advice how I can continue helping my daughter from these very bad influences?

Answer

It is an excellent idea to use a sword to cut off the invisible strings that tie your daughter. You can also extinguish the black candles with the sword or by blowing with your mouth.

You can also do the following. If you can, chant some blessings onto some clean water, and sprinkle it around her room and house. As you sprinkle the sanctified water, say a mantra, any suitable mantra like Namo Guan Shi Yin Bodh Satt, and ask in a firm way whatever bad spirits or influences to leave your daughter, your family and the house, and bless the bad spirits or influences. You can perform this holy ritual three times.

If the above is not feasible, you can do the same thing in any suitable place you can find. Enter into a meditative state of mind, and visualize you are performing the ritual in your daughter’s house.

Shaolin Kungfu

Sifu Tim Frankklin and Grandmaster Wong demonstrating Shaolin Kungfu

Question 3

I was very afraid of attacks because I experienced a childhood with physical violence . I took some classes in T’ang Soo Do but also quickly found your book “The Art Of Shaolin Kung Fu”.

I did the exercises especially ones producing spontaneous chi movements. I found the exercises tamazing. Within one year I had given up alcohol and cigarettes. My body was becoming fit and strong and my mind was getting clear.

Unfortunately, something happened to me around that time. Suddenly my body could no longer do the stretches needed for high kicks and I stiffened up and became full of pain. Naturally that was very frustrating as I had decided on martial arts as my life path

I became sad, angry and depressed I tried to talk to many doctors, including Chinese medical doctors. I tried to find helpful teachers but I met only men who loved fighting and violent harm. I could not find someone like you who I knew understood what he was talking about and understood the Way.

— Ciaran, Ireland

Answer

Congratulations for your success in learning from my book. I am also sorry to hear of your later happenings.

From your description, I am sure you can overcome your problems. I suggest that you leave aside martial arts for the time being, and return to it later when you have become healthy and strong. Meanwhile you should practice chi kung to heal yourself.

I would strongly recommend that you attend my Intensive Chi Kung Course Please see my Website for information.

Many people may wonder what one can learn in just a few days. I can say from experience that you will learn a lot, in fact, more than what you need at present, and you will be able to practice on your own when you return home. Please apply to my secretary for registration.

Practicing on your own at home is important. In a few months, you will be well enough to resume your martial art. I would suggest you give Shaolin Kungfu taught by me a try.

Question 4

I would like to know how is the Instructor Training for the Shaolin Wahnam Institute. I have been reading in the website and I found the regional and intensive courses. But no reference for a long term training to become an instructor. If there is one, could you please indicate how many forms, weapons, style, cost, place for the training?

— Reyes, USA

Answer

In our school, potential instructors are chosen from our students who have been training with us for some time, and are not open to application from the public. The choice is based on the following factors:

  1. They practice the Ten Shaolin Laws in their daily life.

  2. They have good character.

  3. Their performance in their arts is good.

  4. They show leadership potential.

  5. There is a need for instructors in their area.

  6. They have attended at least once but often a few times, my intensive courses they are going to teach, as these courses provide the basic philosophy, techniques and skills practitioners of the relevant arts should know.

Seniority is also an important consideration in our choice of instructors.

Interestingly, the factors you have mentioned, like how many forms, weapons, and styles they know are not important in our consideration, although our potential instructors normally know many forms or kungfu sets, a few weapons and a few kungfu styles.

The cost students have spent before they become instructors, and the places they have had their training vary. But all our instructors have expressed, openly or tacitly, that the benefits they get from our training are many times more than the money and effort

Bone Marrow Cleansing

One must become a good student first, before thinking of becoming an instructor

Question 5

Can we eat our breakfast before chi kung practice?

— Melanie, Spain

Answer

Many masters recommend that practitioners should abstain from eating a meal half an hour before and after chi kung practice. It is because the food in the stomach may interfere with chi flow.

However, as our chi flow is powerful, we need not follow this instruction. In fact, my Intensive Chi Kung Course is held at 8 o’clock in the morning. Students usually have their breakfast just before the course.

In my book, “Chi Kung for Health and Vitality”, one of the dont’s is not to take a meal about half an hour before and after a chi kung session. The book was written about 20 years ago in 1997 when my chi kung attainment was of a much lower level than now. Moreover it was written for people who might not have a change to learn from me personally. But now, those who learn from me personally, and hence their chi kung attainment is higher, have the luxury of enjoying a meal before or after chi kung.

It is the same with having a shower. Many masters advise against taking a shower about half an hour before and after chi kung practice. But as our chi kung is powerful, we may not follow this instruction. We can have a shower before and after chi kung.

Question 6

I attended a course with Sifu in England a few years back. I experienced tremendous joy after the final stage of Bone Marrow Cleansing.

I have been practicing “Lifting the Sky” for depression and anxiety. Should I include Bone Marrow Cleansing in my routine? If so, how often should I do it?

— Jussi, Finland

Answer

You should practice “Lifting the Sky” most of the time, about 8 out of 10 days. You practice Bone-Marrow Cleansing only once a while, about once or twice out of 10 days.

Follow the three golden rules: don’t worry, don’t intellectualize, and enjoy your practice. Depression can be overcome quite easily with our chi kung.

Lifting the Sky

Dr Daniel of Belgium performing “Lifting the Sky” during a kungfu course

Question 7

How many cigarettes in a day do you consider to be too much? I am struggling with depression and smoke about 20 in a day.

Answer

For me, even one cigarette a day is too much.

For you, I suggest 5 cigarettes a day. Within 3 months, you cut down to zero cigarettes a day. Note the phrase “within 3 months”. You may accomplish the task in 1 month.

Whenever you feel like having a cigarette more than the number you have allotted yourself to, practice “Lifting the Sky” followed by chi flow. The total time of your practice should just be about 5 minutes, not 10 minutes as in a regular practice session.

If you really want to eliminate your cigarette smoking and depression, just follow this plan. You will succeed.

After you have quitted smoking, if you wish to enjoy a cigarette, you can do so any time. By then, you smoke because you enjoy it, not because you are addicted. .

Question 8

You told me once that my depression could be cured in three months of chi kung practice. How can you be so sure? Can you see to the future?

Answer

I am very sure because overcoming depression with our chi kung is actually easy. Many people have done that. If you follow my plan you will succeed.

My plan is simple, and is as follows. Practice “Lifting the Sky”, or any chi kung exercise, followed by chi flow, three times a day — once in the morning, once in the evening, and once at night. Each session should just be about 10 minutes. During your practice, don’t worry, don’t intellectualize, and just enjoy your practice.

I mentioned that you would overcome your depression in three months. This means any time within 3 months. You may accomplish the task in just 2 weeks.

Sometimes I can see into the future. But the future is not fixed. It depends on some variables.

In your xase, for example, I can see that in a month you can quit smoking and in 2 weeks you are free from depression if you really want to. But if you don’t want to, though you may say you do, you will be unable to quit smoking and overcome your depression.



If you have any questions, please e-mail them to Grandmaster Wong via his Secretary at secretary@shaolin.org stating your name, country and e-mail address.

SELECTION OF QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS FEBRUARY 2016 PART 2 BY GRANDMASTER WONG KIEW KIT

(reproduced from http://shaolin.org/answers/ans16a/feb16-2.html)

Shaolin Kung Fu

The big irony is that many martial artists are unhealthy and are unable to defend themselves. Here Evelyn and Sifu Leonard apply Shaolin Kungfu in combat.

Question 1

“The big irony is that many martial artists are unhealthy and are unable to defend themselves despite spending many years training a martial art! Not only they injure themselves in free sparring and their injuries are routinely left unattended to, the way they train is usually detrimental to both their physical, emotional and spiritual health. Many people may be surprised at my statements that many martial artists today cannot defend themselves. If they can, they accept being hit and kicked for granted as part of their training.” — Quoted from Grandmaster Wong’s answer.

May I ask, sifu, should one avoid being hit altogether? How? What about in the sense of blocking? I suppose it is better to avoid contact than to have to block? When I practice blocks with my friend my arms are often sore/ bruised but we figured this would toughen us. I am grateful for your instruction Sifu,

— Lee, USA

Answer

Of course one should avoid being hit altogether. That is the main purpose of practicing an art of self-defence. That is also the main reason why I said people who freely exchanged blows in free sparring were not learning a martial art though they thought they did.

How does one avoid being hit? That is what he learns in a martial art, any martial art. Thee are two categories to accomplish this.

One category is to ward off the attack. There are many ways of warding off. Blocking an attack as described by you where your arm become sore or bruised is third-class. In first-class warding off you use minimum force to overcome maximum strength.

The second category of avoiding hit is to dodge the attack. There are also many ways of dodging.

You will learn these first-class responses to avoid being hit in the Intensive Shaolin Kungfu Course or the Intensive Taijiquan Course.

Having your arms sored or bruised from blocking is a poor way to toughen your arms. It is more likely to weaken your arms than to toughen them. A sore or bruised arm is painful and injured. Pain and injry weaken a person, not just his arms.

There are many excellent methods in our school for strengthening arms. Some examples are One-Finger Shooting Zen, Golden Bridge, Separating Water, and even Grasping Sparrow’s Tail. The uninitiated may wonder how these exercises, especially Grasping Sparrow’s Tail, can strengthen arms. Not only they do, they are excellent – if practiced correctly.

Please take note that toughening, in the sense of conditioning, may not necessary be strengthening. If you punch your fist onto a wall, for example, you may toughen or condition your knuckles, but may not necessary add power to your punch. Hence, when we practice Thirty Punches, which is an exercise to increase power of the punch, we punch into empty space, and not onto a sandbag.

Question 2

I would like to continue to strengthen my stances. I can see the difference between someone who knows many forms but wobbles on their legs and someone who has powerful stances but few forms.

What would be the you-wei and the wu-wei of horse stance? Right now I try to imagine my self relaxing and letting my chi sink to my feet. I can tell when I get tense that it rises up to my torso and chest but if I relax I can sink it down and hold the floor with my toes better.

Answer

Stances are very important in kungfu, and their benefits are transferred to daily life. Stances develop internal force and mental clarity.

The “you-wei” part of stance training consists of two steps. The first step is to get the poise correct. In the Horse-Riding Stance, for example, ensure that you are upright. The second step is to relax, relax and relax.

The “wu-wei” part is to be spontaneous. Don’t think of anything, including not imagining yourself relaxing and letting your chi sink to your feet. Just spontaneously remain upright and relaxed in your stance.

Stances are very important in kungfu training. Grandmaster Wong showed the importance of waist rotation in a Bow-Arrow Stance during a kungfu class in Madrid.

Question 3

My wonderful girlfriend told me that she wanted to fast during Ramadan this year. She told me it was all about discipline and being spiritual. My initial thought and feeling was concern when I heard this. Personally I know little about Ramadan but I don’t see the spiritual side to forcing oneself to stay off food. Of course I could be wrong. Should I be concerned here? I always want to support her in whatever she wishes to do but I also want her to be safe as this is my natural instinct to protect her.

— Sifu Mark Hartnett, Ireland

Answer

Rituals of any religion help practitioners to practice their faith and thus purify their spirit. If a practitioner has strong spiritual roots, like a Zen monk, he may not need rituals yet attain high spiritual levels.

Fasting during the month of Ramadan also purifies the body, which contributes to purification of the spirit. If your girlfriend understands these deeper meaning, fasting during Ramadan is good for her. On the other hand, there are religious fanatics who follow religious rituals but act in a way God or whatever term the Supreme Reality is addressed asks his followers not to do.

If your girlfriend wishes to fast, ask her to prepare herself if it is the first time she attempts it. Her body needs time to adjust to fasting.

Fasting demands discipline, and is spiritual as it purifies both the body and the spirit. It is natural that you are concerned for her. A good approach is to tell her the significance of fasting and let her make her choice. As she is not a Muslim, she needs not fast the whole month of Ramadan, or during part of it. She can fasts for any day or two to make some adjustment and preparation.

Question 4

I have been very lucky to spend time with a Hoong Ka master, and he emphasizes a lot of Asking Bridge to develop sensing skills for sparring. Whenever I spar with him and some of his senior students, their sensing skills are such that he is often able to simply “slip” out of my attempts to tame or close his hands unless I have superior force and chin-na.

— Frederick, USA

Answer

The Hoong Ka master defeated you because of skills and not because of techniques. Even if you use other techniques, he will still be able to defeat you.

This does not mean that techniques are not important. When he slips away, you can strike his retreating arm, or kick his leg.

You can also improve your skills of “bridging gap” and “follow-through”. When he tries to escape from your taming or closing hand, you “follow-through” with your taming or closing hand, and bridge the gap of his retreat. You should spend some time practicing on your own before applying the skills on your opponents.

You can also increase your internal force and learn some sophisticated chin-na techniques. You can find a lot of chin-na techniques at http://www.shaolin.org/video-clips-3/chin-na/sequences/overview.html . As you did not attend the Special Chin-Na Course in Sabah, you should attempt only one or two of the simpler techniques.

Shaolin Kungfu

Grandmaster Wong employs a pattern from Hoong Ka Kungfu, called Southern Shaolin in our school, in combat application

Question 5

My attempts to simply close someone with a taming or pressing palm are generally defeated by my sparring partner simply turning their body into the Unicorn Stance or retreating if they have superior footwork to me. Is there an aspect of taming/closing an opponent that I miss, or should all attempts to tame or close an opponent use chin-na to “confirm” the taming/closing?

Answer

No, you have not missed the basic techniques of taming and closing, though you may not have learned sophisticated techniques of following through, like using chin-na to subdue your opponents.

But you attended the Baguazhang course at the UK Summer Camp. There are a lot of techniques and tactics you can use from the Baguazhang course to defeat your opponent when he turns aside into a Unicorn Step or when he retreats.

When he turns aside into a Unicron Step, for example, you can employ your Baguazhang footwork to follow his turning and strike him, or you can go to the other side and fell him from behind. When he retreats, you can rush forward, but taking care of your own safety, and push him off the arena, or you can jump forward with “Wild Crane Kicks Leg”.

It is not necessary to use chin-na to confirm taming or closing, but for one trained in chin-na, it is an excellent way to subdue opponents. When a chin-na master wishes to apply a chin-na grip on his opponent, it is unlikely the opponent could escape.

Question 6

How would you recommend approaching sparring with someone who has superior sensitivity skills? I have had some success with using the “disappearing” that I discussed with you last year in sparring, which sometimes gives me opportunities, but I know that there are certain people I have met who can always notice me, so I do not want to rely too much on such an ability; I would personally rather have more solid fundamentals than rely on such a “trick.”

Answer

There are two main approaches. One is to avoid his sensing skills. Using kicks, for example, is a good tactic. Instead of having arm contact, you can kick at him.

The other approach indicates the hallmark of a master. Change his sensing skills, which are his strong points, to his weakness. Chin-na and dim mak are excellent in this respect.

Baguazhang, Pakua Chang

Sifu Tim uses his leg to neutralize a groin attack from Frederick in a Baguazhang combat application

Question 7

Another situation that I run across in sparring is sparring partners who have a lot of muscular strength. My usual tactic is to “borrow” my sparring partner’s force and use soft counters to conserve my energy and to guide their force away into emptiness so that I can set up a decisive strike, mainly using Baguazhang strategies and movements from the Swimming Dragon set and adding a Baguazhang “flavor” to the Hoong Ka I am learning here.

Answer

Dim mark is excellent for overcoming opponents with a lot of muscular strength, but you need to learn dim mak at a course from a master willing to teach you.

Many kungfu styles are well-known for the smaller-sized to defeat the bigger and stronger, and Baguazahgn is one of them. You can use Baguazhang techniques and tactics to get to an opponent’s side or back to strike him.

Question 8

Sometimes, however, my sparring partners will “lock up” with a lot of tension and will not “give” me any force to work with, and I find that very difficult to handle. I can handle the situation usually with a combination of superior agility (getting to their sides or back, or simply feinting and striking a different body part) and stamina (simply outlasting their muscular tension), but I do not know if there is a better way to approach this sort of situation.

Answer

Don’t use force against force if your opponent is physically stronger.

All the methods you mentioned are excellent.

You can get to your opponent’s back to fell him. Don’t fell him with brutal strength. Off-balance him, and he falls easily.

You can also strike his vital spots, like his eyes, throat and sexual organ. But of course you stop an inch from target.



If you have any questions, please e-mail them to Grandmaster Wong via his Secretary at secretary@shaolin.org stating your name, country and e-mail address.

SELECTION OF QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS JULY 2017 PART 2 BY GRANDMASTER WONG KIEW KIT

(reproduced from http://shaolin.org/answers/ans17b/jul17-2.html)

chi kung, qigong

Practicing chi kung will give us good health, vitality and longevity as a matter of course

Question 1

I fear progressing in my practice of chi kung, because I don’t know where I shall be on the way.

— Franz, Russia

Answer

Your fear is not only unnecessary but also unfounded. Just practice your chi kung following the three golden rules of practice, which are not to worry, not to intellectualize, and to enjoy your practice, and you will have good health, vitality and longevity.

The first rule, “not to worry”, means you need not worry whether you are on the way. The second rule, “not to intellectualize”, means you need not intellectualize whether you are on the way, or where the way will lead you to. But I shall still tell you where the way will lead you to. It will lead you to good health, vitality and longevity.

The third rule, “enjoy your practice”, is self-explanatory. If you don’t enjoy your practice, or if you are indifferent to your practice, you are not following the three golden rules.

Why will the way lead you to good health, vitality and longevity? That is because that is the way chi kung is. As an analogy, when you are hungry, eating some food will satisfy your hunger. If you are driving along a road to Moscow, you will eventually reach Moscow.

Why will eating some food satisfy your hunger, or driving along the road to Moscow will enable you to reach Moscow? It is because that is the way eating some food and driving to Moscow is.

If you practice chi kung and don’t have good health, vitality and longevity, it is because of some other factors, like you stop practicing, or you practice wrongly, or what you practice is not genuine chi kung. So, don’t fear practicing genuine chi kung, and stop worrying and intellectualizing. Just enjoy your chi kung practice

Question 2

My mind thinks around trying to understand the experiences of meditation and compare my thinking with life. For the most part, I just can’t. For example, a human is just another animal living on a basis of stimulus-response without having a real choice because there is no one who can make it, and emotions and thoughts arise spontaneously. This makes me depressed. Can you please give me advice?

Answer

The reason you do not think well is that your thinking is wrong. The reason you are depressed is that, regardless of whether your thinking is right or wrong, you do not enjoy your thinking.

Your thinking is wrong because a human is not just another animal. The human is also not living on a basic of stimulus-response. It is also wrong to think that he has no real choice. Fourthly it is wrong to think that no one can make it, i.e. making a choice based on stimulus-response. It is also wrong to think that emotions and thoughts arise spontaneously.

I am quite sure you are a human. So, let us take you as an example. You are not just another animal. No animals, for example, can write an e-mail to me and ask me questions. In fact, you are unique. No other humans, and certainly no other animals, are like you.

You do not live on a basic of stimulus-response. If someone rings a bell, like the case of Pavlov’s dogs for example, you do not necessarily eat the food provided. You have many choices. Regarding the food, you can throw it away, throw it to the provider, go out to buy the type of food you like to eat, and so on.

You also can make it. If food is provided, you can eat it. If for any reason you do not want to eat the food, you also can make it, i.e. you do not eat the food.

Emotions and thoughts may arise in you spontaneously, or they may not. I believe your thoughts of these questions did not arise spontaneously. You made some effort to think of these questions. They did not arise by themselves.

If the ideas you think make you depressed, then don’t think of these ideas. Think of ideas that make you happy.

As a human, it is not difficult to think of happy ideas, irrespective of whether these ideas will become real. It also does not need high intelligence to do so, unless you choose to think of intelligent ideas.

Shaolin arts

The goal of practicing the Shaolin arts in our school is to enrich our life in this phenomenal world

Question 3

Isn’t enlightenment the goal of the Shaolin arts as well?

Answer

Attaining Enlightenment was the goal of the Shaolin arts at the Shaolin Monastery in the past. But in Shaolin Wahnam today, attaining Enlightenment is not the goal of our Shaolin arts. Enlightenment here means perfect transcendentality where there is no differentiation into myriad identities.

The goal of our Shaolin arts is to have good health, vitality, longevity, poak performance and spiritual joys in our phenomenal world. Many of our Shaolin Wahnam members have experiences of spiritual awakening, or a glimpse of Enlightenment, but we are not ready for Enlightenment yet.

Question 4

During standing meditation, when I am not thinking of anything, when I smile from the heart and am physically relaxed as best as I can, I am not actively doing anything but am in the moment. I mean that I am perceiving or noticing things, but in a greater quantity and quality than during normal daily life, which is just like during Vipassana meditation. Then I remember your advice about stopping sitting meditation, and I don’t know if I should do that and let the observation happen, which I feel like practicing Vipassana unintentionally. Can you please give me advice?

Answer

Yes, I can give you advice, and my advice is always based on the interest of the person who asks me for advice.

But whether you, or anybody, follow my advice is your choice and your right. It is also not my business to ensure that you, or anybody else, follow my advice.

My advice for you to stop Vipassana mediation was because it was making you dull and depressed. I also make it very clear that it was not because Vipassana meditation was not good, but because it was not suitable for you at the time when I gave you the advice, and also now when you ask me for more advice. Similsrly, if our chi kung brings you harm instead of benefit, I would also ask you to stop practicing our chi kung.

Vipassana meditation is good for Theravada monks who have renounced family life to cultivate for Enlightenment. If you were in such a situation, when you became a Theravada monk and had renounced family life to cultivate for Enlightenment, though I would not recommend you to do this, Vipassana meditation would be suitable for you.

Our standing meditation and smiling from the heart are different form Vipassana meditation, though some of the benefits may be similar. Practicing our chi kung is also very different from practicing Vipassana meditation, even unintentionally.

Editorial Note: Franz’ other questions can be found in the following issued, July 2017 Part 3, of the Question-Answer Series.

Sinew Metamorphosis

Sinew Metamorphosis

Question 5

Sifu, you said that being free from irrelevant thoughts is a necessary condition for performing chi kung. I have hundreds of thoughts crossing my mind How do I eliminate them?

— Elizabeth, USA

Answer

Yours is a common problem among many people. They complain that they are troubled by hundreds of thoughts in their daily life, specially when they are not performing any specific tasks.

But once they have learned from our school they overcome their problem. You also have done well. In the chi kung session just now, you had a beautiful chi flow. If you had hundreds of thoughts crossing your mind, you would not have any chi flow.

Being free from irrelevant thoughts is a necessary condition for practicing chi kung, and chi flow is the essence. The other condition is to be relaxed. In other words, if a person has hundreds of thoughts crossing his mind, or he is tensed, he would not be practicing chi kung; he practices gentle physical exercise using chi kung techniques.

A sure way to eliminate irrelevant thoughts is to stop each thought as soon as it arises. You may not stop all the thoughts at once; you would need time to do so.

Suppose you have 500 thoughts in 10 minutes. For the first day you succeed in stopping 5 thoughts. So you have 495 thoughts for that day instead of 500.

The second day you do better. You can stop 8 thoughts, leaving you 483 thoughts. But on the third day, for whatever reasons, you do not perform as well. 3 extra thoughts creep into your mind, resulting in you having 486 thoughts.

There may be rise and fall in the number of thoughts in your mind, but generally the trend is that your thoughts become less and less. If you persists doing this every day, in about 3 months you will have eliminate most of your thoughts.

This method is simple, though it needs perseverance. If you want to succeed, you must continue performing this method every day for a few months.

Why, then, many people have many thoughts troubling their mind? There are two reasons. One, they do not know of this method. Two, they do not persist enough. They attempt this method every day for a few days, then stop practicing.

Question 6

Sifu, Sinew Metamorphosis develops tremendous amount of internal force in a very short time. There is also no visualization and no special breathing methods involved. What mechanics are involved to make Sinew Metamorphosis so very powerful?

— Sifu Leonard Lackinger, Austria

Answer

This is an excellent question. In fact, I have been waiting for such a question. Many people have expressed amazement at the tremendous force developed from Sinew Metamorphosis in just a minute or two but so far no one has asked me how.

There are three dimensions in any internal force development, namely form, energy and mind. The division into these three dimension is for easy understanding. Actually all the dimensions are involved in any internal force development, or in any chi kung exercise.

For example, the most basic method of developing internal force is the Horse-Riding Stance or the Three-Circle Stance in Taijiquan today. These stances are usually regarded as the form dimension. But the energy and the mind dimensions are also involved. A practitioner lets his breathing be nautral, which is the energy dimension. His mind is focused at his dan tian or at nothingness, which is the mind dimension. If his breathing is forced, or his mind wandering, his result will be greatly hampered.

To illustrate the operation of these three dimensions in force training, let us take Lifting Water as an example. If we only perform the form of Lifting Water in a relaxed manner we can develop some internal force. This is the form dimension.

If we regulate our breath while performing Lifting Water in a relaxed manner, we can develop more internal force. We breathe in gently through the nose when lifting up our hands, and breathe our gently through the mouth when lowering the hands.

If we are deeply involved in performing Lifting Water, even without regulating our breath, we produce the most internal force. This is the mind dimension. We enter into a chi kung state of mind, or enter Tao in Taijiquan context, or enter Zen in Shaolin context.

Outwardly the mind dimension may appear to be similar to the form dimension. But the difference is that in the form dimension we do not enter deeply into a chi kung state of mind, whereas we do so in the mind dimension.

All this information provides the background which is useful to understand the answer thoroughly. Now is the answer to your question.

A rough estimate of the internal force a practitioner can obtain from the form, energy and mind dimensions is 1, 3 and 6 respectvely. If he works only at the form level, he gets 10% of the internal force; if he works only at the energy level he gets 30%; and at the mind level, 60%.

The internal force generated in Sinew Metamorphosis practiced by us in our school is 100%, which is 10 times more than what others get at the form level. Why is it at 100% and not at 60%? It is because our practice also includes internal force derived at the form level and the energy level, although we do not regulate our breathing nor perform any visualization.

The form level is obvious. In fact, this is what most other students do if they perform Sinew Metamorphosis correctly, and not merely perform the external forms of Sinew Metamorphosis. This was what I did when I practiced Sinew Metamorphosis as a student. I had to perform each exercise 49 times, and there were 12 exercises. It took me about an hour to complete the Sinew Metamorphosis training.

Yet the internal force I developed from my one-hour Sinew Metamorphosis training was just about one-tenth of the internal force our students now develop in performing just 1 exercise 6 times in 5 minutes. It is mind-blowing but true, and of course I am very happy for our students.

Why was my internal force from Sinew Metamorphosis in 1 hour only one-tenth that of our students now in 5 minutes? The reason is that I performed Sinew Metamorphosis at the form level, whereas our students perform Sinew Metamorphosis at the mind level, which includes the form level and the energy level, and which also takes less time.

What mechanics are involved to make Sinew Metamorphosis in our school so very powerful and in such a very short time?

Let us take “Flicking Fingers”, or “Golden Dragons Tap on Ground”, as an example. At the ready position, our fingers are bent to the fullest. Thus, when we flick our fingers, it is not just physical movement though we actually do it, but we channel energy to flow up the 3 hand yang meridians.

These three hand yang meridians activate energy flow along the three leg yang meridians down the whole body to the toes. At the toes, the three leg yang meridians activate the flow of the three leg yin meridians up the leg and into the body, where they activate the three hand yin meridians to flow to the inner side of the arms to continue at the fingers with the three hand yang meridians.

Hence, by just flicking the fingers, without regulating the breath, energy flows through all the twelve primary meridians, completing the phenomenal big universal energy flow. This vigorous energy flow throughout all the twelve primary meridians not only generate a lot of internal force but also give us good health, vitality and longevity.

This phenomenal big universal energy flow is enhanced many times when we are deep in Zen, or a chi kung state of mind. It is a common misconception that one operates at the mind level by visualization. This is not so, as is exhibited in “Flicking fingers” or any of the Sinew Metamorphosis exercises. The deeper a practitioner is in Zen or a chi kung state of mind, the greater is the amount of internal force generated. Sinew Metamorphosis is an excellent example showing that a tremendous amount of internal force is generated without using any visualization or breathing methods.

Chi kung state of mind

Entering into a chi kung state of mind is a necessary condition for practicing chi kung

Question 7

How do we enter into a chi kung state of mind?

— Lucca, Italy

Answer

Like many things in our school, it is easier done than said, whereas to many other people it is easier said than done. All students who have attended our courses can enter into a chi kung state of mind easily, otherwise they cannot perform chi kung; they only perform gentle physical exercise using chi kung techniques.

You too, entered into a chi kung state of mind just now. You had a good chi flow. If you did not enter into a chi kung state of mind, you would be unable to enjoy a chi flow.

Nevertheless, I shall give you an academic answer here. Just do two things, and you shall enter into a chi kung state of mind. Relax and don’t think of anything. If you are relaxed and your mind free of irrelevant thoughts, you will be in a chi kung state of mind.

If you are relaxed and free of irrelevant thoughts long enough, your chi will naturally flow. If you follow the chi flow movement, you will enjoy a good chi flow.

It is worthy of note that entering a chi kung state of mind does not necessary mean you will have a chi flow. One has to be in a chi kung state of mind to have a chi flow, but being in a chi kung state of mind does not necessary mean a chi flow. Similarly, one has to open his moth to eat something, but opening his mouth does not necessary mean he will eat something.

Question 8

If chi kung is so good, why aren’t a lot of people rushing to learn it?

Answer

There are three main reasons. Firstly, chi kung in the past was exclusive. It was a rare opportunity to practice chi kung. Hence, very few people today practice genuine chi kung, and fewer still teach it. We are indeed very fortunate to inherit this rare art from the Shaolin Monastery.

Secondly, most people who practice chi kung today do not have good results. Even many chi kung instructors today take medication on a routine basic, and most of them do not exhibit the kind of vitality chi kung is meant to give.

Why is it that they become chi kung instructors when they themselves do not practice genuine chi kung that gives the results of good health, vitality and longevity? A main reason is that they only learn external chi kung forms. Their techniques are genuine, but they lack the skills to perform their chi kung techniques to generate energy flow to have good health, vitality and longevity. Hence, they teach external chi kung forms without energy flow to their students, and both the instructors and students do not realize this fact.

It is the energy flow that gives good health, vitality and longevity; not the techniques. As an analogy, many people perform genuine Taijiquan techniques, but they lack the skills to use the techniques to develop internal force and to defend themselves.

The third reason is that people do not believe the great benefits of chi kung. This is mainly because of the second reason that what is practiced as chi kung today is mostly gentle physical exercise, and not an energy art. Gentle physical exercise does not enable practitioners to overcome illness, have good health, vitality and longevity. If some practitioners overcome their illness, have good health, vitality and longevity, it is due to other factors, and not due to the gentle physical exercise they practice.

Thus, although chi kung can overcome so-called incurable diseases, most people do not think it is true. Practitioners who practice genuine chi kung daily need not be sick at all, and they have vitality and longevity, but most people do not believe this fact, mainly because they see that others who practice gentle exercise, mistaken as chi kung, are still sick and weak.

It is understandable if they are doubtful of the claims of chi kung, but it is shocking that they do not even take some effort to find out, especially those who suffer from so-called incurable diseases. As I have mentioned many times, that is their problem, not ours. If they wish to learn from us, even when they are skeptical, we shall teach as best as we can, but if they do not believe in what we say, it is not our business to convince them.



If you have any questions, please e-mail them to Grandmaster Wong via his Secretary at secretary@shaolin.org stating your name, country and e-mail address.

WHY SO MANY OTHER PRACTITIONERS DO NOT GET BENEFITS OF HIGH-LEVEL CHI KUNG

(reproduced from http://shaolin.org/answers/sp-issues/benefits.html)

chi kung, qigong

A high-level chi kung class in England


Question

Why do so many other people who practice chi kung do not get the benefits you describe?

— Lin, Dubai


Answer by Grandmaster Wong Kiew Kit

It is because these many people actually do not practice chi kung, they practice gentle physical exercise, though they do not realize it, whereas we practice genuine high-level chi kung.

The patterns are the same, but the arts are different. Let us take an example of Lifting the Sky.

Most other people practice Lifting the Sky as gentle physical exercise but they honestly think it is chi kung.

We practice Lifting the Sky not just as chi kung but as high-level chi kung.

There are two dimensions of difference: the difference between gentle physical exercise and chi kung, and the difference between ordinary chi kung and high-level chi kung.

Firstly, we need to know the difference between gentle physical exercise and chi kung. It is the failure to know this difference that causes thousands of people waste years of practice without obtaining any chi kung benefits. There are, for example, many chi kung instructors, even masters, who have taught chi kung for more than 10 years yet are routinely sick or in pain. This shouldn’t be as a basic benefit of chi kung practice is good health, which means free from sickness and pain.

In other words if they have practiced chi kung, genuine chi kung, they would not be sick or in pain. It is understandable if they are sick or in pain once a while, but certainly not routinely. In the same way, if you eat sufficient food and drink sufficient water, you would not go hungry or thirsty.

The fact is that these chi kung practitioners and masters do not actually practice chi kung, though they may not realize it. They practice gentle physical exercise but mistake it as chi kung. Similarly many people practice external Tai Chi forms as a dance but mistake it as Tai Chi Chuan as an internal martial art.

It is easy to make this mistake because the forms of gentle physical exercise and chi kung, and the forms of Tai Chi dance and Tai Chi Chuan are the same. It is how they are practiced, i.e. the skills involved, that makes the difference.

In gentle physical exercise, one practices the forms at a physical level. In chi kung, one practices the same forms at three levels — physical, energetic and spiritual. In other words, in gentle physical exercise one works only on the physical body, like loosening muscles and joints. In chi kung one works at the physical level, the energy level and the spiritual level, like loosening muscles and joints, having more vitality, and becoming peaceful and happy.

If a practitioner does not know what working on energy and spirit is, then he is unlikely to be practicing chi kung, though he may honestly think he is. As an analogy, if you are eating an orange, you will know what an orange is. If you had not eaten an orange or even seen one, you would not know what actually an orange was even when it was clearly described to you.

Thus, thousands of people who think that they practice chi kung do not get the chi kung benefits I describe because actually they do not practice chi kung; they only practice gentle physical exercise. No matter for how long and how well they have practiced, they only get benefits of gently physical exercise like relaxation, grace and balance, which are worthy benefits by themselves, but they will not get chi kung benefits like overcoming illness, enjoying good health, vitality and longevity, and experiencing mental clarity and spiritual joys.

Secondly, it is useful to know the difference between ordinary chi kung, which is usually low-level, and high-level chi kung. The difference is that ordinary chi kung takes a long time to obtain little benefit, whereas high-level chi kung takes a short time to obtain a lot of benefit. The forms, or techniques, may be the same. It is the skills that make the difference.

Let us take the technique, Lifting the Sky, as an example. In low-level chi kung, one needs to practice Lifting the Sky for many months before he can feel a noticeable increase of his energy level. In high-level chi kung he can feel a noticeable increase after practicing for just a few days. In our case, you felt a noticeable increase of energy level after just one practice session!

If someone is sick with a serious illness like cancer or clinical depression, he may not overcome his illness by practicing low-level chi kung. If he practices high-level chi kung, not only he can overcome his illness, but also he becomes healthier than he was before.

Very few people have the chance to practice high-level chi kung. This is another reason why so many other people who practice chi kung do not get the benefits I describe.


chi kung. qigong

A high-level chi kung class in China


This article was taken from Question and Answer 1 of July 2014 Part 1 of the Selection of Questions and Answers.

Dealing with Betrayal – Happy Family Life Question and Answer 10 – Part 2

reproduced from https://www.wongkiewkit.com/forum/showthread.php?12571-10-Questions-on-Happy-Family-Life.

This thread is facilitated by Ollie from our Shaolin Nordic family. Thank you, Ollie!

Happy Family Life Question and Answer 10 — Part 2

(Continued from Part 1)

Yes, even in a good, long term relationship, a betrayal sometimes happens, and it causes a lot of pain. But with wisdom and compassion, which we learn from our school, we can much minimize the pain. At an advanced level of our development, we may even change this problem of betrayal into an opportunity for development!

My own experience may serve as a useful lesson. You can read the details from my autobiography, “The Way of the Master.”

About 30 years ago in the 1980s I was bitterly betrayed by a chi kung master and some senior students of Shaolin Wahnam Association. I helped the chi kung master in some difficult situations, and offered him a post as a chi kung healer in a company I set up with two other partners. Yet, he betrayed me – bitterly.

I taught senior disciples of Shaolin Wahnam Association secrets that most masters would keep as top secrets. One of the senior disciples told me, after just a few months of training, that his assistant instructor was very surprised when he countered a seemingly formidable attack. Another senior disciple, whom I gave money to in his difficulty, became famous for lion dance, and he performed a spectacular lion dance just one week after an appendicitis operation. I helped another senior disciple to become a kungfu and lion dance instructor in another school, and shared with him some highly paid remunerations in teaching kungfu and lion dance in another school.

Yet, they all betrayed me. I transformed from a highly respected master to a bad guy in town, especially when I supported a world known master, Sifu Yan Xing of China, in distant chi transmission.

But I forgave all of them. I changed their betrayals to opportunities for improvement. These senior disciples were the push factors for my travels overseas and subsequently established Shaolin Wahnam Institute. Chi flow, a hallmark of our school, was much influenced by the chi kung master who betrayed me.

I forgave all of them and wished them well. One of the betrayers, who is not one of the three senior disciples mentioned above, but whom I specially taught Choe Family Wing Choon Kungfu when he requested it, would have died if not for my chi kung healing – at a time when his betrayal was still fresh.

There was an interesting episode. A few years ago, students of former Shaolin Wahnam Association organized a dinner in my honour. As I entered the door for the dinner, an elderly, cheerful man came out to greet me. He looked familiar but I could not remember him. Later, another disciple told me that the elderly, cheerful man was the one who betrayed me, the one whom I saved with chi kung healing. He renounced the world and dedicated himself to spiritual cultivation. I was glad that he was happy. 30 years ago when he was my student, he hardly smiled.

Whether it is wise to keep a relationship despite a betrayal for the sake of their children, depends on numerous factors, some of which are the life philosophy of the victim, how serious was the betrayal, and the age and understanding of the children.

Suppose a wife had sexual affairs with another man, and the husband found it out, the husband may forgive his wife if he loves her dearly and the wife stops the affairs. After all, in modern societies there is no guarantee that a man or a woman does not have prior sex before marriage. If the husband has a poor philosophy of life and dislikes her, it is a valid reason, or an excuse, to divorce her, irrespective of whether they have children.

If the husband is sexually inadequate but loves his wife dearly, and the other man is good, it is wise to keep the relationship, not only for the sake of their children, but also for the pleasure of his wife and the other man, as well as his own happiness despite his inadequacy. If they have no children, or if the children are big and understanding, he can divorce his wife after making sure the other man will marry her.

If their children are small and the husband is sexually capable, but the wife finds it more pleasurable to have sex with another man, it is wise to pretend not to know although he knows of his wife extra-marital affairs. He can have sex with his wife whenever he can, or have sex with other women when his sexual urge is demanding.

Such wisdom is rare. Most husbands will quarrel with their wives, and everyone involved suffers.

Dealing with Betrayal – Happy Family Life Question and Answer 10 – Part 1

reproduced from https://www.wongkiewkit.com/forum/showthread.php?12571-10-Questions-on-Happy-Family-Life.

This thread is facilitated by Ollie from our Shaolin Nordic family. Thank you, Ollie!

Happy Family Life Question and Answer 10 — Part 1

 

 Question 10 by Karol

How to deal with betrayal?

It happens sometimes even in good, long term relationships, and causes a lot of pain.

Is it wise to keep it going in reason of children?

Karol


Answer by Grandmaster Wong Kiew Kit

There are different types of betrayals. Betrayals can be between friends, between husband and wife, between father and son, and between master and student.

Although there are different types of betrayals, dealing with betrayals can be the same, but different people may deal with the different types of betrayals differently. In other words, three persons, A, B and C, may have three different ways of dealing with betrayals between friends, between husband and wife, between father and son, and between master and student, but each of the three persons will deal with the different types of betrayals the same way.

A may forgive his friend, forgive his wife (or husband), forgive his son (or father), and forgive his student (or master). B may be indifferent at his friend, indifferent at his wife, indifferent at his son, and indifferent at his student. C may be angry at his friend, angry at his wife, angry at his son, and angry at his student.

To be forgiving, indifferent and angry represents three typical responses to a situation, which are good, average and bad. In real life, when betrayed, very few will be forgiving, almost none will be indifferent, and almost all will be angry. Some may want to take revenge, and a few, if not angry, will be sad.

But I have classified the responses into three categories because they are the usual responses to situations. In some situation, such as health and attitude towards chi kung, most people will be indifferent, some good and some bad.

Whether one’s response to betrayals is good, average or bad depends much on his philosophy of life. Most family members in our school will be forgiving, because that is how we have been trained. Two cardinal values in our school are wisdom and compassion. It is wise and compassionate to be forgiving.

Although forgiving betrayals in our school forms the majority, it is a rare minority in general. As mentioned earlier, very few people in societies will forgive betrayals, almost all will be angry, and almost none will be indifferent.

Why is it wise and compassionate to forgive? Leaving aside fine points of Cosmic occurrences which actually happen, betrayers may not know whether victims forgive them, but the victims will harm themselves if their response is bad, will be indifferent if their response is indifferent, and will be good if their response is good. It is wise to be good, foolish to harm themselves, and mediocre to be indifferent.

How do victims harm themselves if their response is bad, if they are angry or want to take revenge against betrayals? The negative energy resulting from their bad response will clock up their natural energy network and bring about illness. In fact, in my many years of chi kung healing, I have discovered that a lot of so-called incurable diseases are due to blocked emotions. Even if the victims are not clinically sick, the energy blockage will affect many aspects of their daily life. Obviously, it is unwise to be sick or to have poor results in daily life..

When a victim is angry, wants to take revenge or has any manifestations of a bad response to a betrayal, he (or she) not only negates compassion but actively approaches cruelty. It is not just subjective, i.e. cruel people may argue that to be cruel is better than to be compassionate, but cruelty brings harm as it causes energy blockage. Obviously, it is foolish to cause harm to himself.

On the other hand, leaving aside altruism which we believe in and value highly, wisdom and compassion bring benefits. Indeed, many people have kindly commented that I am wise and compassionate. I owe these desirable qualities to being forgiving.

(Part 2 follows)

Happy Family Life Question and Answer 9

reproduced from https://www.wongkiewkit.com/forum/showthread.php?12571-10-Questions-on-Happy-Family-Life.

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Happy Family Life Question and Answer 9

Question 9 by Sifu Markus Kahila

What advice might you give for successfully balancing work obligations and a fulfilling happy family life?

Parents with children all have the responsibility to provide for their families, but also to spend time with them and to establish a nurturing and a happy family life. However, for many people all over the world, just to provide for their family is a full-time job (or multiple jobs) which leave little time to their families.

So what advice would you give for a parent or parents whose time is mostly spent working just to make ends meet and to fulfill the basic requirement to provide for their families, leaving little or no time for actually spending time with them?

Sifu Markus Kahila

Answer by Grandmaster Wong Kiew Kit

Enjoying a happy family life does not negate work obligations and does not take extra time. In fact, a happy family life will contribute to work obligations and making it happier to spend time for any thing.

As an analogy, we can take health. When a person is healthy, it does not negate his work obligations and does not take extra time. In fact,, if he is unhealthy, it will affect his work obligations negatively and it will take him extra time to get well.

In other words, the time with his family, without spending extra time, can make his family life happy, indifferent or sad. For example, when he interacts with his family, if he practices the five guidelines which I provided in another answer, which are 1. getting together regularly, 2. saying truthful things that his family members like to hear, 3. letting them live their own lives, 4. supporting them in times of difficulties, 5. encouraging them in words and deeds, he will have a happy life.

If he is indifferent to them, his family life will be mediocre. If he says things they don’t want to hear, or forces his views on them, family members will dislike him.

To have a happy family life, the person may not do all the five suggestions at the same time. At any one time, he may do only one suggestion, leaving the other suggestions for other times. Gradually he will find his family life become happy.

Nevertheless, as a happy family life contributes to effective work performance as well as joyful living, it may be worth his while to spend some time a day to cultivate my five suggestions – not necessarily all at the same time. In other words, by spending an extra 10 minutes to cultivate my suggestions, he will find that he will work less hours but produce better results, and he is happy more often than he is indifferent or sad in his daily life.

Of the five suggestions to have a happy family life, only the first suggestion takes some time. But even if a person does not spend time organizing for family get-togethers, he will waste his time elsewhere.

Hence, your statement that for many people all over the world just to provide for their family is a full-time job, is not valid. The fact that they provide for their family shows that they care for the family. If other things were equal, they are more likely to have a happy family life. Indeed, those who do not provide for their family, usually have a poor family life.

My advice for parents to have a happy family life, irrespective of whether they have little time or much time, is to practice the five suggestions mentioned above, namely have family get-together regularly, say truthful things that their family members like to hear, let them live their own lives, help them when they are in difficulties, and encourage them in words and deeds.

Providing for the family is important. Having a happy family life, and having good health are also important. One must set priorities correctly. If parents spend all their time just to provide for the family, and neglect their happy family life or neglect their health, they are unwise. Similarly it is also unwise to neglect providing for their family or neglect their health.