Many problems or misunderstanding arise because of confusion between facts and opinions. Logically, if you can differentiate between facts and opinions, you will be able to avoid or overcome many of these problems and misunderstanding.
What is even more important is that often opinion, or perception, is more influential than fact, or reality, in shaping our future. This does not mean we can ignore facts, but we must realize that a person’s perception of reality rather than the reality itself is more potent in determining the outcome of an event. Failure to appreciate this often results in problems and misunderstandings which can be avoided or overcome if we have clear perception.
Let us start with a story. A sifu asked a student to practice “One-Finger Shooting Zen”. A week passed, a month passed, two years passed, and the student was still practicing “One-Finger Shooting Zen” daily, while his sifu hardly taught him anything else.
This was a real story, the story of my sifu, Ho Fatt Nam, when he learned from my sigung, Yeong Fatt Khun. The daily practice of “One-Finger Shooting Zen” enabled my sifu to develop tremendous force not only for Dim Mak (an advanced kungfu art of dotting vital points) but also to heal people.
My sifu had a good perception. He promised himself that if he met a great master, he would do exactly what the master taught. Most other students would drop out. They had different perceptions. They probably thought that the master was fooling them. The reality was the same, a sifu asking his student to practice “One-Finger Shooting Zen” and hardly teaching him anything else, but due to different perceptions the results could be vastly different.
You can see the same principle operating in daily life though many people may not realize it. You are given a difficult job by your boss. Because you are a Shaolin Wahnam student and view everything the Shaolin Wahnam way (instead of the negative way), you perceive your difficult job as an interesting challenge and do your best. As a result you later gain a promotion – by your boss or by yourself becoming your own boss after having gone through challenging training.
Most other people in the same situation would have different perceptions. Some would try to pass the job to someone else, like you, knowing that they would still get the same pay. Others might do the job grudgingly and produce mediocre or poor result. The reality is the same – a difficult job to be done – but due to different perceptions of the same reality, the outcome can be very different.
Can the perception be always positive? Can there be any events, persons or beliefs that are so negative that you can’t have any positive perception of them?
One-Finger Shooting Zen is a treasure of Shaolin Wahnam
Yes, perception can always be positive if you choose to. It is your choice.
No, there are no events, persons or beliefs which are by themselves so negative that you can’t have a positive perception of. We are talking about perception, not the reality itself. In reality the event, person or belief can be negative, but you still can have a positive perception of it.
Suppose you have lost a lot of money in a bad investment. This is reality. No matter how you perceive it, you cannot change the fact that you have lost a lot of money. But your perception of this negative event will certainly and strongly affect what and how your future will enfold.
We may broadly generalize your possible perceptions into three categories: negative, neutral and positive.
You may perceive yourself as stupid, and you become depressed. You may perceive that the fault actually lies with your wife, who nags you, and you become angry. These are negative perceptions. And it is not difficult to see how miserable these negative perceptions will make you.
You may perceive it as a way of life, sometimes you lose, sometimes you gain. Or you may perceive that losing money is a price everyone pays to learn about investment. These are neutral perceptions. You may be down for awhile, but eventually you can get over it.
You may perceive it philosophically, regarding it a blessing in disguise. It is a wake-up call: you lose money in investment, not in drugs or gambling, which may make you addicted and is far worse. Or you may perceive it as a drastic learning opportunity. You promise yourself that eventually you will make back many times that money in an honest, wholesome way. These are positive perceptions that will lead to eventual success. Indeed, many people owe their success, spiritual or financial, to some initial setbacks.
If we just think of good things, are we just dreaming? No, we are not just dreaming. We dare to dream, but we are ready and capable of putting in effort to make our dreams come true. Our Shaolin Wahnam training gives us mental clarity that enables us to have noble perceptions, and tremendous energy that enables us to put in the necessary effort.
Thoughts create reality. This is a great cosmic truth taught by ancient masters and confirmed by modern scientists. An electron is a particle or a wave depending on how the investigating scientist thinks about it. The Buddha teaches that karma, which means cause and effect, is the result of thoughts, speech and deeds in that order of importance.
So, whatever events, persons, beliefs, problems or difficulties you interact with, always have positive perceptions of them. Try it out for a month, and examine the result yourself. If you find it beneficial use this New Year gift for this year and every year.
Would you consider gratitude a very important attitude?
– Sifu Sippe Douma, New Zealand
Answer by Grandmaster Wong Kiew Kit
Yes, it is a very important attitude, more important and more influential than what many people think. It is also an attitude we cultivate and cherish in our school, and the evidence of its benefits can be clearly found if we examine closely.
I have led a very happy life, and I sincerely believe one very important reason is that I am always grateful. I am very grateful to all the divine beings who are so very kind to guide and protect me, my family and our school. I am very grateful to all my teachers who passed the wonderful arts to us. I am very grateful to all my students who have shown much dedication in their practice and have shown much respect and care for me. I am very grateful to you for taking time off work to show me beautiful New Zealand and for paying almost all my meals.
On the other hand, those who are ungrateful suffered the bad karma of their ungratefulness, though some may never realise it. It is helpful to remember that there is nothing religious or superstitious about karma. It means cause and effect.
The effect is immediate. When a person is ungrateful, he has resentment. The person he should be grateful to may not know it, but his resentment immediately makes him less peaceful and less happy than what he should be. Severe or prolonged resentment brings forth physical or emotional illness.
When a person is grateful, the immediate effect is that he is appreciative, resulting in his feeling more peaceful and happier than other times. It contributes to his good health and longevity. In the history of our school, I came across some people who were ungrateful, and they did not have good karma. Here is one example. A woman had cancer, but after learning chi kung from me, she recovered. Besides taking my regional course, she also took a special course from me, for which I charged her only US$1000 instead of the usual US$5000 for a personalised course. I also transmitted chi to her from a great distance for free to help her to recover. But she paid me 1000 Canadian dollars instead of 1000 US dollars, despite the organizer telling her and she knowing it beforehand.
Later her cancer relapsed. She phoned me asking whether I could continue to transmit chi to her. I replied that I would consider. Had she asked me again I would continue to transmit chi to her for free, despite her breaking her promise and showing ingratitude. But she did not ask again. Her breaking her promise of not paying the agreed sum might have affected her thinking. I later learned from the organiser that she died from cancer.
A clever woman traps her man by yielding, then turns the table around and leads him by his nose.
— Grandmaster Wong Kiew Kit
Searching for some guidance, I was recently reading one of your Question & Answers pages: http://www.shaolin.org/answers/ans01a/jan01-1.html I truly respect and admire you greatly and am so very, very grateful for your teachings. I am now 31. I have never been licentious or promiscuous, nor entered into a relationship without sincerity, but neither have I found the right man for me.
I loved the advice you wrote to Kevin from the USA (in above Q&A link) about being a good husband and father and so I respectfully and open-heartedly ask:
What do you feel are the qualities of a good wife? What do you believe I should be looking for in a future husband?
— Flora, Spain
Answer by Grandmaster Wong Kiew Kit
Finding a good husband is a very important question any young unmarried woman should consider carefully. Being a happy wife and mother fulfills a deep biological as well as spiritual need. Unfortunately, judging from the number of unsuccessful marriages nowadays, young women have not done this effectively.
I am glad you are a step ahead. Not only you want to find a good husband, you want to be a good wife. This shows not only your maturity of thoughts but also your determination and dedication in realizing your goals. Many women just want to have good husbands, but they never consider how to become good wives. This is a big mistake. They defeat their purpose even before starting their journey. Hence, it may be more fruitful to consider how to become a good wife first, then set out to find a good husband.
Whether you are a good wife should be considered not from your perspective, not from the perspective of other people, but from your husband’s perspective. This is a vital point many wives fail to realize. They usually think of themselves as good wives, but their husbands do not.
What do you think a husband want in his wife? The answer below may surprise many women, but it is formed from actually asking eligible bachelors.
First of all he wants his wife to be attractive. As you are a beautiful woman, this won’t be a problem, but you should make a point to be more attractive to him after marriage than before. Some women make a big mistake by taking their husbands for granted. After they have attracted their husbands into marriage, they neglect their shape and appearance, forfeiting the very factor that attracted their husbands in the first place.
A woman is attractive when she is feminine. A husband does not want his wife to tower over him in intellectual abilities or worse in physical strength. He does not want his wife to argue with him over every issue or dominate him in every decision. He prefers his wife to yield rather than to assert. Surprisingly, qualities like being loving and kind, which are of course important, take second place!
Some followers of women’s liberation may vehemently protest, accusing such attitude as male chauvinism. This, I believe, is a main reason why so many eligible women could not get husbands, and also why many men choose to stay out of marriage. I asked some eligible bachelors why they were not married. Can you guest what they told me? They said they were scared! They were scared of women disputing every decision they made, or arguing over every opinion they offered.
For example, when a man suggests going to restaurant A for dinner, a modern, “liberated” woman would say, “No, let us go to restaurant B.” When he says listening to sentimental music is romantic, she would say, “No, it is boring”, and proceed to give countless reasons why she thinks so. She wins her argument but loses her man.
A clever woman traps her man by yielding, then turns the table around and leads him by his nose. This is classic Taijiquan principle in combat.
When her man suggests going to restaurant A for dinner, the clever woman would not say no. She would say something as follows. “Oh yes, you always have good suggestions. This is one of the many good things I like about you.” Then when they are starting their journey to restaurant A, she would say something like this. “I heard that restaurant B served delicious duck. I love delicious duck. It makes my mouth water. Won’t you take me to restaurant B, please?” She would say with such sweetness that even when her man knows he is falling into a trap, he would blissfully let himself fall into it.
The “Four Preparations” and the “Three Arrivals” we use in our combat application are as effective in defeating an opponent as in winning a husband. First you prepare yourself by being attractive and feminine as well as kind and loving. Next you access your hero (or victim), picking him from a few eligible choices. Then you look out for an opening. If it is not presently available, you create one yourself. When the opportunity arises, you move in swiftly and claim your prize.
In moving in, you need to have the “Three Arrivals”, i.e. the arrivals of the heart, the feet and the hand. First, you must have a clear idea of what you would do when you meet your man. Next, you must place and time your attack correctly. Finally, you must connect and capture, not hit and run.
As you are going to choose a husband whom you will happily share your life with, and not an escort for a dance, it is of course necessary to plan and choose carefully.
Happily married. Do you know who the happy husband and the happy wife are?
What qualities you would like to have in your husband? Obviously he must be loving and responsible, besides other personal preferences like how he looks, the job he has, his family background as well as his philosophy towards life.
Having decided on what type of man you want as a bushand, let us see how you can apply the “Four Preparations” and the “Three Arrivals” to trap your man — instead of just passively waiting for him to appear.
Suppose you have found a man whom you think could be a prospective candidate as your husband. If you already know him, that will save much effort, otherwise get someone to introduce you to him or introduce yourself in a seemingly unexpected way.
For example, you know he frequents a particular restaurant at a particular time for lunch. You have to dress attractively and look out for a good opening at the restaurant. If he is looking for a seat, you could tell him in a friendly way that the seat besides you is empty and invite him to sit down.
Of course you do not just let him sit down. You have to engage him in conversation to find out his interests and other information so that you have material for your next attack. You have to let him talk and you listen with interest but asking appropriate questions to gather information.
Some openings are as follows. “Wow! you seem to enjoy your food a lot. Can you tell me the secret of your good apetite?” Or, “You don’t seem to enjoy your food. I have an excellent way to increase apetite. Would you like to learn it?” Then proceed to teach him a chi kung exercise.
After a few meetings, you should start to date him. But of course you will plan in such a way that it appears he dates you. Ask him if he is free the coming weekend. Say that you would like to visit so and so or such and such a place but are concerned to go alone. Ask him to accompany you.
After you have trapped him, you should suggest he marries you. Of course you don’t say, “Marry me!” You may say something like, “It is wonderful to be married and to share life and happiness together. My sifu is so happily married, so are my sisooks and sipaks, as well as sigung.” Then lead him to marriage by the nose, with a lot of beautiful flowers along the way.
You should set a time-target. The whole programme from first meeting to happy marriage should be completed within a year. It is unfair but true that women can’t afford to wait, whereas men can. This happy-marriage strategy should work out well, but in the unlikehood that it doesn’t, repeat the strategy with the next prospective candidate.
Here are a few important principles to follow.
Marriage is a win-win contract. You must really love the man you try your strategy on, and sincerely want to he a very good wife to him.
In your relationship with him, don’t give in but tempt him. Play a cat and mouse game. When he advances, you retreat temptingly, even sexily. When he is tired of chasing, tempt and tease him. On your marriage day (or night), surrender yourself blissfully.
The happiness of marriage starts on the first day of marriage. Make each suceeding day a better one than the previous. Once a while there may be disagreement or even querrals, which add some spice to marriage and which should be patched up quickly, but on the whole your life together should be a continuous progress.
All kungfu forms, including those that seem flowery like the one above demonstrated by Grandmaster Wong, can be used in combat
I am a member of a Shaolin kung fu association. In freestyle sparring we use general kick boxing techniques. So I find it difficult to learn the applications of my forms. How can I improve my knowledge of my forms and do I have to be an advanced student to learn chi kung?
— Gregory. UK
Answer by Grandmaster Wong Kiew Kit
Yours is a common example of most kungfu students today. You cannot spar using the forms you have learnt in solo practice simply because you have never been taught to do so. Why didn’t your instructors teach you how to use kungfu patterns to spar? Because they themselves did not know. Like you, their kungfu training consists mainly, or sololy, of performing forms.
If you want to know how to use your kungfu forms to spar, you have to learn from a master who teaches using kungfu forms to spar. Such masters are very rare nowadays. If you learn from someone who teaches only solo form performance, you will only know solo form performance.
Anyone suggesting to you that by learning the solo kungfu forms you can effectively spar, is like telling you that by going over the mechanics of driving in a stationary car you can effectively drive through a busy street.
When you attempt sparring you will fall back on kickboxing techniques, because these techniques are the most “natural” to someone not trainied in “artificial” sparring. Using kungfu forms to spar is “artificial”. For example, to someone not trained in any martial arts, when an assailent punches him, it would be “natural” for him to block as in boxing or kickboxing. It would be very “artificial” for him to lower into a False-Leg Stance and swerve his arm in an arc in a tiger-claw form. “Artificial” means “made by man”. All kungfu forms are man-made. But a kungfu practitioner practises and practises these man-made forms until they have become second-nature to him.
You can improve your knowledge of your forms or any aspects of kungfu by reading about them. But kungfu is not knowledge; it is a practical art. Here is where you and many other people, especially in the West, make the big mistake. You may be very knowledgeable in kungfu, and may also win trophies in demonstrative competitions, but if you have no practical experience in methodical sparriang, when you spar with Taekwondo or Karate brownbelts, you would become a sitting duck. This is the sad situation of more than 80 percent of people all over the world who think they learn kungfu, when actually what they have been learning is just some demonstrative forms.
If you learn real kungfu, you will practise chi kung right at the start. Chi kung is the art of managing energy. How can any martial art be effective if there is no provision for energy management? Here, of course, I am using the terms “kungfu” and “chi kung” as they were originally used in the past. Their modern sterotyped meanings have changed drastically. In the modern context, “kungfu” and “chi kung”, which are more of gymnastics and dance than martial arts and energy management, are usually taught separately. In such a situation, it does not matter when, or if ever, you learn chi kung.
If you wish to be able to use kungfu patterns to spar, you must learn from a teacher who himself has this ability and is willing to teach you
One can learn a lot about kungfu by reading good kungfu books
I have recently started to learn kung fu, but I feel sometimes that I am not learning as much as I could. But I have nothing to compare with.
— Edward, UK
Answer by Grandmaster Wong Kiew Kit
Some people may think it is a matter of semantics, but actually the difference in the choice of words here is crucial. I clearly remember that in my early days with Sifu Ho Fatt Nam, my sifu told me, “One does not learn kungfu, he practises kungfu.”
That was good advice from a great master. When you learn kungfu, you add techniques, or worse still you add theoretical information. When you practise kungfu, you go over and over again what you already know, without adding something new.
Most people want to learn kungfu; they would be bored practising kungfu. When you learn kungfu, even if you keep on learning for many years, you remain a learner, or at best a scholar. When you practise kungfu, if you keep on practising for many years, you may become a master.
Another crucial difference is that when you learn kungfu, your emphasis is on information, whereas when you practise kungfu, your emphasis is on performance. When your emphasis is on information, you may know a lot about kungfu, such as various techniques to develop internal force and to defend yourself, but still you have no internal force and cannot defend yourself.
Perhaps for this reason, some people cynically say that “those who cannot, teach; those who can, do.” But this cynical statement does not apply to genuine kungfu, because the emphasis is on performance. A good kungfu exponent is one who is healthy and can efficiently defend himself, not one who knows a lot about kungfu information.
This, of course, does not necessarily mean that information is useless in kungfu. Information is very useful, but it should be geared towards practical results.
There are two sets of criteria you can compare your training with. One, you can compare with what kungfu is reputed to produce, such as good health and combat efficiency. Has your training made you healthy and combat efficient?
Of course, you must be fair. You cannot expect to have good results after just a few months of training. But if you have been practising for a few years, and yet you are still sickly and defenceless, you would have wasted your time even though you might have accumulated a lot of kungfu knowledge.
Two, you can compare with the purposes for which you want to practise kungfu. For example, if your purposes are to learn some graceful kungfu movements to loosen your limbs and joints, as well as to demonstrate to friends, you would have achieved your purposes.
To attain good kungfu performance, one needs to practice correctly and diligently
Senior Disciple of Grandmaster Wong
Shaolin Wahnam Sabah
1st October 2011
Chi Kung and Religion
Greetings to Tuan Zakaria Zain,
Is Chi Kung (or Qigong) allowed in Islam? Thank you for this good question.
Everything good is allowed in any religion, including Islam as long as it does not contradict the Quran .
The Islamic National Fatwa Council of Malaysia (Majlis Fatwa Kebangsaan) has never ruled that chi kung is not allowed in Islam .
The Founding President of Guolin Qigong Association of Malaysia is a senior Malay Muslim medical specialist, Dr. Amir Farid Isahak (MBBS -Australia, MMED, Singapore, MRCOG, UK) http://www.superqigong.com/aboutus.htm
The Islamic Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) pronounced: “Seek knowledge even as far as China”. Muslims take great pride in citing the above hadith as it points to the importance of seeking knowledge, even if it meant travelling as far away as China, especially as at the time of the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh), China was considered the most developed civilization of the period. “Tuntutlah ilmu sampai ke negeri China, karena sesungguhnya menuntut ilmu sangatlah wajib atas setiap orang muslim”.
The Founder of Waitankung (a famous form of chi kung was a Chinese Muslim Chi Kung and Kungfu Grandmaster Tuan Haji Ali Chang Chih-Tung .
The world famous Admiral Zheng Muhammad He (Laksamana Cheng Ho aka Haji Muhd Shamsuddin) was a chi kung-kungfu master during the Ming Dynasty who visited the Malacca Sultanate in present Malaysia .
Seeking chi kung knowledge to get good health is a good thing. Our Shaolin chi kung originate from China. Our professional school teaches Chi Kung and Kung Fu as a holistic program to achieve good physical, emotional and mental health to all good students regardless of race or religion. We have students from almost all continents in the world, from various racial and religious background, including good Arab Muslims from Saudi Arabia and United Arab Emirates .
I am sorry to hear of your ill health but you can regain good health by putting in good effort in a good program, for example by practising chi kung. In our chi kung practise, we are against and not interested to communicate with evil spirits or jin and we do not recite any mantra. Actually it is God who help us to help ourselves to get rid of illness and regain good health. Logically, evil spirits bring evil health — that is why we are not interested in them .
Learning chi kung, like learning computer science or learning car driving, is good for practitioners of any religion but a good student should learn from a good teacher teaching a good art. If a student does not follow instructions or if s teacher is not qualified or if the art is corrupted, then the student will get bad result, for example the student does not know how to send emails after 1 year learning computer or does not know how to reverse a car after 1 year driving lesson or gets anxiety after learning chi kung wrongly. Actually learning chi kung is safer then driving a car. In our school we have very good teachers, very good chi kung programs and good deserving students ….. so we get good results .
Our students are obliged to respect the laws of the country and to practise high moral values (which are taught by all religions). Having achieved good health through chi kung, we become a better persons, better children to our parents, ourselves become better parents, become better citizens of a country and become better Muslims/religious persons. Connecting with the Cosmos, at a lower level, means we breath chi/air in and out of our body in continuous harmonious exchange with the atmosphere/cosmos. At a higher level, connecting with God means creating human beings with reduced imperfections. Through chi kung practise one can connect better with the Creator who is 100% perfect. So the power implied is non other than your natural birth right given to you by God ….. only that you have to put in good thoughts, good words and good actions to regain it .
I believe you are a good and sincere man. Pray to God for guidance. If you still feel uncomfortable with chi kung, it is OK. i am certain that God will lead you in the necessary direction. I wish you all the best in your life’s journey.