Monthly Archives: May 2017

Dealing with Betrayal – Happy Family Life Question and Answer 10 – Part 2

reproduced from https://www.wongkiewkit.com/forum/showthread.php?12571-10-Questions-on-Happy-Family-Life.

This thread is facilitated by Ollie from our Shaolin Nordic family. Thank you, Ollie!

Happy Family Life Question and Answer 10 — Part 2

(Continued from Part 1)

Yes, even in a good, long term relationship, a betrayal sometimes happens, and it causes a lot of pain. But with wisdom and compassion, which we learn from our school, we can much minimize the pain. At an advanced level of our development, we may even change this problem of betrayal into an opportunity for development!

My own experience may serve as a useful lesson. You can read the details from my autobiography, “The Way of the Master.”

About 30 years ago in the 1980s I was bitterly betrayed by a chi kung master and some senior students of Shaolin Wahnam Association. I helped the chi kung master in some difficult situations, and offered him a post as a chi kung healer in a company I set up with two other partners. Yet, he betrayed me – bitterly.

I taught senior disciples of Shaolin Wahnam Association secrets that most masters would keep as top secrets. One of the senior disciples told me, after just a few months of training, that his assistant instructor was very surprised when he countered a seemingly formidable attack. Another senior disciple, whom I gave money to in his difficulty, became famous for lion dance, and he performed a spectacular lion dance just one week after an appendicitis operation. I helped another senior disciple to become a kungfu and lion dance instructor in another school, and shared with him some highly paid remunerations in teaching kungfu and lion dance in another school.

Yet, they all betrayed me. I transformed from a highly respected master to a bad guy in town, especially when I supported a world known master, Sifu Yan Xing of China, in distant chi transmission.

But I forgave all of them. I changed their betrayals to opportunities for improvement. These senior disciples were the push factors for my travels overseas and subsequently established Shaolin Wahnam Institute. Chi flow, a hallmark of our school, was much influenced by the chi kung master who betrayed me.

I forgave all of them and wished them well. One of the betrayers, who is not one of the three senior disciples mentioned above, but whom I specially taught Choe Family Wing Choon Kungfu when he requested it, would have died if not for my chi kung healing – at a time when his betrayal was still fresh.

There was an interesting episode. A few years ago, students of former Shaolin Wahnam Association organized a dinner in my honour. As I entered the door for the dinner, an elderly, cheerful man came out to greet me. He looked familiar but I could not remember him. Later, another disciple told me that the elderly, cheerful man was the one who betrayed me, the one whom I saved with chi kung healing. He renounced the world and dedicated himself to spiritual cultivation. I was glad that he was happy. 30 years ago when he was my student, he hardly smiled.

Whether it is wise to keep a relationship despite a betrayal for the sake of their children, depends on numerous factors, some of which are the life philosophy of the victim, how serious was the betrayal, and the age and understanding of the children.

Suppose a wife had sexual affairs with another man, and the husband found it out, the husband may forgive his wife if he loves her dearly and the wife stops the affairs. After all, in modern societies there is no guarantee that a man or a woman does not have prior sex before marriage. If the husband has a poor philosophy of life and dislikes her, it is a valid reason, or an excuse, to divorce her, irrespective of whether they have children.

If the husband is sexually inadequate but loves his wife dearly, and the other man is good, it is wise to keep the relationship, not only for the sake of their children, but also for the pleasure of his wife and the other man, as well as his own happiness despite his inadequacy. If they have no children, or if the children are big and understanding, he can divorce his wife after making sure the other man will marry her.

If their children are small and the husband is sexually capable, but the wife finds it more pleasurable to have sex with another man, it is wise to pretend not to know although he knows of his wife extra-marital affairs. He can have sex with his wife whenever he can, or have sex with other women when his sexual urge is demanding.

Such wisdom is rare. Most husbands will quarrel with their wives, and everyone involved suffers.

Dealing with Betrayal – Happy Family Life Question and Answer 10 – Part 1

reproduced from https://www.wongkiewkit.com/forum/showthread.php?12571-10-Questions-on-Happy-Family-Life.

This thread is facilitated by Ollie from our Shaolin Nordic family. Thank you, Ollie!

Happy Family Life Question and Answer 10 — Part 1

 

 Question 10 by Karol

How to deal with betrayal?

It happens sometimes even in good, long term relationships, and causes a lot of pain.

Is it wise to keep it going in reason of children?

Karol


Answer by Grandmaster Wong Kiew Kit

There are different types of betrayals. Betrayals can be between friends, between husband and wife, between father and son, and between master and student.

Although there are different types of betrayals, dealing with betrayals can be the same, but different people may deal with the different types of betrayals differently. In other words, three persons, A, B and C, may have three different ways of dealing with betrayals between friends, between husband and wife, between father and son, and between master and student, but each of the three persons will deal with the different types of betrayals the same way.

A may forgive his friend, forgive his wife (or husband), forgive his son (or father), and forgive his student (or master). B may be indifferent at his friend, indifferent at his wife, indifferent at his son, and indifferent at his student. C may be angry at his friend, angry at his wife, angry at his son, and angry at his student.

To be forgiving, indifferent and angry represents three typical responses to a situation, which are good, average and bad. In real life, when betrayed, very few will be forgiving, almost none will be indifferent, and almost all will be angry. Some may want to take revenge, and a few, if not angry, will be sad.

But I have classified the responses into three categories because they are the usual responses to situations. In some situation, such as health and attitude towards chi kung, most people will be indifferent, some good and some bad.

Whether one’s response to betrayals is good, average or bad depends much on his philosophy of life. Most family members in our school will be forgiving, because that is how we have been trained. Two cardinal values in our school are wisdom and compassion. It is wise and compassionate to be forgiving.

Although forgiving betrayals in our school forms the majority, it is a rare minority in general. As mentioned earlier, very few people in societies will forgive betrayals, almost all will be angry, and almost none will be indifferent.

Why is it wise and compassionate to forgive? Leaving aside fine points of Cosmic occurrences which actually happen, betrayers may not know whether victims forgive them, but the victims will harm themselves if their response is bad, will be indifferent if their response is indifferent, and will be good if their response is good. It is wise to be good, foolish to harm themselves, and mediocre to be indifferent.

How do victims harm themselves if their response is bad, if they are angry or want to take revenge against betrayals? The negative energy resulting from their bad response will clock up their natural energy network and bring about illness. In fact, in my many years of chi kung healing, I have discovered that a lot of so-called incurable diseases are due to blocked emotions. Even if the victims are not clinically sick, the energy blockage will affect many aspects of their daily life. Obviously, it is unwise to be sick or to have poor results in daily life..

When a victim is angry, wants to take revenge or has any manifestations of a bad response to a betrayal, he (or she) not only negates compassion but actively approaches cruelty. It is not just subjective, i.e. cruel people may argue that to be cruel is better than to be compassionate, but cruelty brings harm as it causes energy blockage. Obviously, it is foolish to cause harm to himself.

On the other hand, leaving aside altruism which we believe in and value highly, wisdom and compassion bring benefits. Indeed, many people have kindly commented that I am wise and compassionate. I owe these desirable qualities to being forgiving.

(Part 2 follows)

Happy Family Life Question and Answer 9

reproduced from https://www.wongkiewkit.com/forum/showthread.php?12571-10-Questions-on-Happy-Family-Life.

This thread is facilitated by Ollie from our Shaolin Nordic family. Thank you, Ollie!

Happy Family Life Question and Answer 9

Question 9 by Sifu Markus Kahila

What advice might you give for successfully balancing work obligations and a fulfilling happy family life?

Parents with children all have the responsibility to provide for their families, but also to spend time with them and to establish a nurturing and a happy family life. However, for many people all over the world, just to provide for their family is a full-time job (or multiple jobs) which leave little time to their families.

So what advice would you give for a parent or parents whose time is mostly spent working just to make ends meet and to fulfill the basic requirement to provide for their families, leaving little or no time for actually spending time with them?

Sifu Markus Kahila

Answer by Grandmaster Wong Kiew Kit

Enjoying a happy family life does not negate work obligations and does not take extra time. In fact, a happy family life will contribute to work obligations and making it happier to spend time for any thing.

As an analogy, we can take health. When a person is healthy, it does not negate his work obligations and does not take extra time. In fact,, if he is unhealthy, it will affect his work obligations negatively and it will take him extra time to get well.

In other words, the time with his family, without spending extra time, can make his family life happy, indifferent or sad. For example, when he interacts with his family, if he practices the five guidelines which I provided in another answer, which are 1. getting together regularly, 2. saying truthful things that his family members like to hear, 3. letting them live their own lives, 4. supporting them in times of difficulties, 5. encouraging them in words and deeds, he will have a happy life.

If he is indifferent to them, his family life will be mediocre. If he says things they don’t want to hear, or forces his views on them, family members will dislike him.

To have a happy family life, the person may not do all the five suggestions at the same time. At any one time, he may do only one suggestion, leaving the other suggestions for other times. Gradually he will find his family life become happy.

Nevertheless, as a happy family life contributes to effective work performance as well as joyful living, it may be worth his while to spend some time a day to cultivate my five suggestions – not necessarily all at the same time. In other words, by spending an extra 10 minutes to cultivate my suggestions, he will find that he will work less hours but produce better results, and he is happy more often than he is indifferent or sad in his daily life.

Of the five suggestions to have a happy family life, only the first suggestion takes some time. But even if a person does not spend time organizing for family get-togethers, he will waste his time elsewhere.

Hence, your statement that for many people all over the world just to provide for their family is a full-time job, is not valid. The fact that they provide for their family shows that they care for the family. If other things were equal, they are more likely to have a happy family life. Indeed, those who do not provide for their family, usually have a poor family life.

My advice for parents to have a happy family life, irrespective of whether they have little time or much time, is to practice the five suggestions mentioned above, namely have family get-together regularly, say truthful things that their family members like to hear, let them live their own lives, help them when they are in difficulties, and encourage them in words and deeds.

Providing for the family is important. Having a happy family life, and having good health are also important. One must set priorities correctly. If parents spend all their time just to provide for the family, and neglect their happy family life or neglect their health, they are unwise. Similarly it is also unwise to neglect providing for their family or neglect their health.

CHI KUNG: THE ART OF DEVELOPING VITAL ENERGY

(reproduced from http://shaolin.org/chikung/vital-energy.html)

By Grandmaster Wong Kiew Kit

World Award

Sifu Wong Kiew Kit receiving the “Qigong Master of the Year” award from Professor Steven K. H. Aung at the Second World Congress on Qigong in November 1997. Looking on is the Chairperson of the Congress, Dr Effie Chow

What is chi kung (or qigong)?

Chi kung, spelt as “qigong” in Romanized Chinese, is the art of developing energy, particularly for health, vitality, longevity, mind expansion and spiritual cultivation, irrespective of race, culture and religion.

The term “chi kung” is Chinese, but arts of energy have been practised by different peoples, especially in the past when they were kept as top secrets. The Indians call their energy art “yoga”, the Tibetans “wisdom art”, whereas the ancient Egyptians and ancient Greeks called it “the mystery art”.

Because of cultural and historical reasons, there may be some differences in the methods and emphasis in these different energy arts of different peoples, but they all deal with developing energy, and they all aim at promoting physical, emotional, mental and spiritual health, irrespective of one’s religion.

Various types of chi kung

There are literally hundreds of types of chi kung, because the term “chi kung” is actually a collective name for various arts of energy training.

For example, in the history of chi kung in China, physicians developed energy for healing, kungfu exponents for enhancing combat efficiency, Confucian scholars for mind expansion, and Taoist and Buddhist cultivators for spiritual growth.

Nevertheless, there are large, comprehensive schools of chi kung, such as Shaolin Chi Kung and Taijiquan Chi Kung, where the various different health, martial, mental and spiritual needs are fulfilled.

Different levels of chi kung attainment

Not only there are various types of chi kung serving different needs, there are also different levels of attainment within the same type of chi kung.

Numerous variables that determine the level of attainment include the appropriateness of the methods chosen, the competency of the teacher, as well as the dedication of the student. Obviously, assuming other factors being equal, a superior method, an experienced teacher or a student who practises regularly will produce better result than someone without these advantages.

But what is not so obvious to many people, including most chi kung practitioners today, is the operational level at which one practises chi kung. Chi kung training can be operated at the form level, the energy level or the mind level.

Form, energy and mind in chi kung training

Standing Zen

Sifu Anthony Spinicchia of the United States enjoying Standing Zen, which is a high level chi kung bringing mind expansion and spiritual joy.

Although there are thousands of chi kung exercises, they all involve three elements, namely form, energy and mind. These three elements are also the “three treasures” of a person.

In other words, every human has form, energy and mind. Chi kung training develops all these three essential elements of a person.

However, due to various reasons, the great majority of chi kung practitioners today, including in China, practise only the form aspect of chi kung, neglecting the energy and the mind aspects.

Strictly speaking, this is not chi kung; it is only chi kung form, and in terms of giving health benefits I believe it is less effective than conventional physical exercise like swimming, playing field games and working out in a gym.

For convenience, I call this level of chi kung which pays attention only to form, low-level chi kung.

In my opinion, the least a practitioner should have is the energy aspect in order to justify calling his exercise chi kung, i.e. energy training. This is middle-level chi kung, and the practitioner makes a conscious, purposeful effort to influence his energy flow, such as clearing energy blockage and increasing energy level.

In terms of health benefits, middle-level chi kung is far superior to conventional physical exercise, as the benefits are a direct result of its practice, whereas in conventional physical exercise the health benefits come as a bonus.

High-level chi kung is where the mind is involved. After entering into what is known as “a chi kung state of mind”, which is a heightened state of consciousness, the practitioner can manipulate energy the way he wants, like tapping energy from the cosmos and directing it to whatever parts of his body.

At this level, it is beyond comparison with conventional physical exercise. Not only so-called “incurable” diseases can be cured, some masters may accomplish feats which ordinary people would regard as miracles — or fakery.

What disease can practising chi kung overcome?

Low-level chi kung may provide some gentle exercise for better blood circulation, muscle loosening and relaxation, but may not be strong enough to overcome diseases.

Middle-level chi kung may overcome diseases like asthma, tuberculosis, rheumatism, bodily pains, gastritis, insomnia, anxiety and nervousness, and effectively prevents common colds and fevers.

High-level chi kung can cure any diseases, including ulcers, cardiovascular disorders, diabetes and cancer. This is not an exaggerated claim; personally I have helped many people to be relieved of their so-called incurable diseases.

There is also sound medical explanation for the cure. According to Chinese medical philosophy, illness occurs if there is insufficient vital energy to work the natural systems of the body (and mind), or if the flow of vital energy is disrupted.

The forte of chi kung is to increase energy level and to clear energy blockage, thus overcoming the illness, irrespective of what labels may be used to describe its symptoms.

WHAT MAKES THE 36 STRATEGIES SO SPECIAL?

(reproduced from http://www.shaolin.org/general-2/36-strategies/strategies02.html)

Xuan Zang, Tripitaka

The great monk, Xuan Zang or Tripitaka



Question 2

I must be sincere. Before this course was coming I didn’t even know that “The 36 Strategies” existed. I read a lot about “The Art of War” because it is world famous and very extended. So, What makes “The 36 Strategies” so special?

Santiago


Answer 2 by Grandmaster Wong Kiew Kit

In the world the Art of War is more famous, but in Chinese societies both inside and outside China the Thirty Six Strategies are more well-known. During conversations, Chinese often mention the names of some of the strategies, such as Rob While Fire is Burning or Borrow Knife to Kill Another like common sayings though they may not know about the strategies.

Strategies in the Thirty Six Strategies are different from strategies in the Art of War. The 36 strategies are called ji in Chinese, which means tricks for particular occasions. The strategies in the Art of War are called fa, which means overall plans of action.

The Thirty Six Strategies are special because they consist of 36 different tricks of an extensive variety that spanned across many centuries. One learns not just 36 tricks themselves but the principles behind the tricks that give rise to countless other tricks which because of their extensive variety can be used for any situations. In other words when you are familiar with these 36 tricks and their principles, you can have any tricks for any occasions.

Let us take an example of the trick, Rob While Fire is Burning. This strategy came from the famous novel, Journey to the West. While journeying to India to get sutras back to China, the Venerable Tripitaka and his disciple, the Monkey God, stayed a night in a temple in a wilderness. The abbot knew that Tripitaka had a magnificent robe presented to him by the Tang Emperor. He requested Tripitaka to show him the robe. But seeing the robe was so magnificent that he became greedy and wanted the robe for himself.

He thought of a trick. He said that he was old and feeble and could not see the robe properly. He requested that Tripitaka lend him the robe for a night so that he could admire it in his own room. Being an embodiment of kindness, Tripitaka consented.

The abbot called his monks together to scheme to have the robe for himself. A monk suggested that they set on fire the room in which Tripitaka and Monkey God were sleeping. While the monks were preparing the fire, Monkey God changed himself into a bee, flew out of the room and discovered the scheme. With a few somersaults he landed in heaven and borrowed a fire-prevention shield from a Heavenly Kings.

With the fire-protection shield, no fire could harm Tripitaka and Monkey God. Monkey God decided to play a little prank on the monks. He gently blew on the fire with the result that now the whole temple was on fire with the monks busy attempting to stop it.

In a nearby cave, known as Black Wind Cave, lived a titan called Black Wind Titan. This titan was a friend of the abbot and frequently visited the temple. Seeing the temple on fire, he flew over to help to put out the fire. But he chanced upon the magnificent robe. He too became greedy. He just leisurely took the robe while the fire was burning.

The temple was burnt to the ground. Of course Tripitaka and Monkey God were safe. Eventually Monkey God got back the magnificent robe for his master.

Cao Cao, the famous prime-minister-cum-general of the Three Kingdom Period made good use of this strategy, Rob While Fire is Burning. He led an attack on the territories of Yun Tan. Yun Tan sought the help of his younger brother, Yun Xiang. Despite numerous attempts, Cao Cao could not defeat the combined armies of Yun Tan and Yun Xiang. So Cao Cao and the attacking force left.

Soon disagreement broke out between Yun Tan and Yun Xiang. It became so bad that Yun Tan sought the help of Cao Cao to protect him. Cao Cao exploited the situation. Pacifying Yun Tan, Cao Cao led his attacking force against Yun Xiang and vanquished him. Later, using an excuse he also vanquished Yun Tan.

In the Art of War, Sun Tzu described this principle as “luan er bai zi”, which literally means “troubled, then defeat it”. When a state is in trouble, it is good time to vanquish it. Sun Tzu categorized three types of trouble — internal disorder, external attack, and combination of internal and external trouble. I learned an invaluable lesson while studying ancient world history in Form Six. The great Roman Empire fell because of internal disorder and external attack. Internal disorder was the more important factor. External attack just sealed its fall.

We should all learn an invaluable lesson from here. In future if Shaolin Wahnam ever crumbled, it would be due to internal disorder. We must all guard against this.

Cao Cao

Cao Cao of the Three-Kingdom Period


The above discussion is reproduced from the thread 10 Questions on the 36 Strategies in the Shaolin Wahnam Discussion Forum.