What to do if you have your heart broken from a relationship

This is such a profound gem that I feel that I must share it here. It is from Sifu’s Q&A May 2007. Sifu gives his answer in regards to having your heart broken, and in Sifu’s usual understated way, is very clear and concise. Here it is:

Your main problem is not girls constantly breaking your heart but your perverted view. In chi kung terms, it is your mental blockage. Once you have cleared this mental blockage, you will not only overcome feeling miserable, but also be able to find a good girlfriend. I am going to explain to you a time-proven method to overcome this problem. The method comes in two parts, the philosophical and the practical.

Philosophically, the girls did not break your heart. It was you yourself who allowed your heart to be broken. Luckily, it was not too serious. You recovered enough to repeat similar processes.

If you analyze your feelings more deeply, you would find that actually you were not in love with any of the girls; you were in love with love itself. In love with love is not a bad thing, but you need to find the right girl to place your love in.

You will have your own choice of qualities to look for in the right girl. But I shall mention one important quality. She must also love you. This may or may not be the first or second most important quality you want in your right girl, but it is an essential quality. In other words, no matter how wonderful she may be, if she does not also love you, then she is not your right girl. You should not waste your time on her. There are literally thousands of other eligible girls elsewhere.

This is the first part of the method to overcome your problem. Be reminded that the problem here is not how to find the right girl — this will be explained later. The problem here is that you allow your heart to be constantly broken and you feel very bad about it. To avoid this happening again, you have to clear your mental blockage by understanding the following three points:

  1. The girls themselves did not break your heart. You allow your heart to be broken.
  2. This happened because you were in love with love. Somehow you believed that having your heart broken was part of the process of being in love. This was a perverted view. You should find the right girl to place your love in.
  3. You can choose the qualities you like in your right girl, but an essential quality is that she must also love you. Otherwise, don’t waste your time on her. There are literally thousands of other lovely girls waiting for you to sincerely love them.

Now the practical part, which is simple yet very profound.

Early every morning go to the open, or to an open window if the weather outside is unfavorable, and smile from the heart. Just do this. Just smile from the heart. Simple. And profound.

I believe what other books on love and relationships try to write about in hundreds of pages, Sifu sums it up in just a few paragraphs.

Enjoy!

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